artwork by alidowns

rainbows and butterflies and fairies and cotton candy

Friday morning I headed out to work decked out in my Friday outfit which includes my Fun Friday rainbow shoes. Love those shoes. Never have I gotten more compliments on a $5 pair of shoes from K-mart. I'm in the car and notice a totally rancid, horrible, terrible, dog-poop smell. I figure it must just be outside of the car, so I turn off the outside air and hit the freeway. Alas, the smell remains. Now, normal people might first check the bottom of a shoe for dog poo. I, however, am not normal and therefore, start coming up with wild explanations for why my car smells like poo. Surely, someone who hates me, and there are two that I know of, broke in my car, let a wild animal loose, and it has now left its treasure with me. Or, Norman slept on my car and had an accident. Well, I thought I was going to vomit from the smell, but I didn't want to pull over on the side of the highway and I didn't want to get outside in the pouring rain, so I continued to Warrior. Thirty minutes later I arrived at work to find dog poo on the bottom of my right Fun Friday rainbow shoe. Yuck. I carried dog shit from Birmingham to Warrior. Cheers to the beginning of Friday.

tonight, today, and yesterday

Today was a weird day. I spoke to Aaron last night. It was the second time I had spoken to him since we broke up. Our conversation was awkward with bouts of silence. It's strange to have a conversation like this with someone I still love, someone with whom I was very close for 5 months of my life. We decided not to speak again. I may see him at church on occasion, but nothing more. It was almost like breaking up again. We totally shut the door. Our life conversation is finished. I feel like this is the right decision for us, but it is ever painful and I must admit that I am totally uncomfortable with this present pain. I have been through break-ups before, but each one is so different. This one stings in a new way, leaves a different gap in my self-confidence, in my life. I think it's because I'm 26 and I was hoping that this would be it for me. I am having an immensely difficult time trusting the Lord right now. I believe that His ways are good, His purpose divine, each of my needs created and satisfied by Him in His time. Yet, it sure does not, does NOT, feel that way right now. It was almost easier to be in a difficult relationship than to be dealing with a quandary like this. God has always brought the right person into my life at the right time when I was not looking. But, I must admit, that I am always glancing around, hoping I'll spot him while I pretend not to be looking. I must remember that Aaron and I only broke up about 3 weeks ago. That's not that long and in fact, it seems that often the world has forgotten that we were together. But, I haven't forgotten yet. I still want to talk about it, yet at times, there seems nothing more to say.

Best quote yet

Landlord: Did you know that America has a drug and alcohol problem?
Me: I work at Bradford.
L: Where?
Me: Nevermind.

The color of my heart

I love fall back. I just slept for 10 hours. Love it.
I also love applesauce, as mentioned previously.





And finally, Ms. Melissa Brown's Flower magazine has made it to the big leagues people!

how many friends do you have?

On facebook I have 706 friends. However, I would not say that I actually even know 706 people. I did go through that 'must have friends on facebook to prove my worth' phase, so whatever.

I am at home and I am taking the day off of work tomorrow. I am so excited I can barely stand it. I'm probably gonna go crazy and clean the house, paint, and exercise. Yes, that is crazy for me. I might even get a pedicure.

So, tomorrow is Halloween. Halloween is such an odd holiday. All the costumes and candy. I'm loving fall more than ever this year. I don't know what it's about, but I just love the cool weather, the changing leaves, the pumpkins, the lightness of spirit. I love the power of the cold coming in and washing away the heat. I like seeing the birds flying south in spectacular V formations. How do they know to do that?! Tomorrow Melissa and I are making homemade applesauce. I am a bit of applesauce snob. My family made creamed corn, applesauce, and jam every year. And there is nothing like the sweet, chunky goodness of homemade. The store bought applesauce seasoned to taste like strawberries just doesn't do it for me. We made the applesauce and then put it on top of Mickey Mouse waffles for breakfast. I used to have waffle eating contests with my brothers. Kind of unfair since I was five and they were fifteen and seventeen. I held my own though. I turned anorexic later so go figure. It all evens in the end, I guess.

I got cable television this week. It's been a big addition to my life. I got to watch my Titans beat the Colts on Monday night and then I just concentrated on seeing how many shows I wanted to watch at the same time since I have almost 100 channels. Who knew there were this many shows? Correction: this many terrible, mind-numbing shows. It's good for now though.

Blue

When I was little, I used to crawl under the dining room table while all of the adults were finishing their food and tie my grandfather's shoelaces together in an elaborate mess of bows and knots. Then, I would sneak, ever so sneakily, back to my seat and pick at my food just waiting for my grandpa to stand up. And, at the end of the meal, he would stand up from his place at the head of the table, and pretend to almost fall down while trying to walk. I thought it was hilarious every single time. It is one of my first memories.

I also remember Warren tying a rope on the end of a box and pulling me around the house in the box. I thought it was just divine. He would also come home from high school and go down to the creek with me and play. He was 17 years old. I was 5. He was (and is) one of my heroes. We would build stick boats and race them down the creek. I would joyfully hop in the water to free them if stuck. It was delightful.

I also remember dancing with my Dad. I stood on the bed and held his hands and we danced back and forth while singing some song...maybe from My Fair Lady. It was good.

I also wore a blue sequin belt for about 2 years straight. Church, playtime, bed, didn't matter. Alison had the belt on. It was hot and I still have it. Maybe Halloween. Maybe.