The Velveteen Rabbit

I want to claim all the things I know as true and walk with the confidence that my God has my best interest at heart. I want to rest in the place that comforts my soul with His will. I want to believe that He is taking me to the right person at the right time. But the fact is that I just hurt right now. I walk around feeling like someone punched me in the stomach. I break into tears at any moment, food is uninteresting to me, I wake up thinking about him and us, my stomach hurts all the time, I laugh like crazy at times and the next moment I can barely engage in conversation because I can't focus on the topic or I don't care enough to put forth the energy. I am incredibly sad. I miss him. I miss us. It's frightening to be this real in public. It really is.