one long run-on sentence

I have a little sister now through the Big Brother/Big Sister program. We hung out tonight for the first time. We went to Dairy Queen and then to see Evan Almighty at the dollar theatre on Lorna Road. (Note about the dollar theatre. You definitely get what you pay for. I think I am allergic to something on those fading orange theatre chairs. Either that or the popcorn that has become fossilized on the floor and now on my sandals.) We had a fun time together. She called me a few times today to make sure that we were still on for the evening and that I had directions and knew the time, etc. She talked my ear off over dinner. I liked listening to her chatter about boys and lockers and 7th period drama. She is 11 years old and in 6th grade. I remember those years and am glad that I marched through them successfully and never have to return. I don't miss the petty gossip and rumors and worrying about my hair and learning about make-up and shaving my legs and the dreaded draft into womanhood. And yet, there are things about that age that appeal, I suppose. Life was simpler then. I didn't make grand decisions or worry about bills or deal with relationships. Yet, I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't go back to that age or any other age for that matter. And although these transcient years seem difficult right now, I wouldn't skip them either. The learning curve right now feels so sharp that I might just fall right off, and yet...and yet what? I know that it will be worth it. That the lessons I am learning right now are vital to my success as an adult and my growth as an individual. That my faith is increasing and being constantly tested. My friendships are deeper and more sustaining than I ever imagined friendships could be. And I have poured everything into a relationship for the past two years and now have stepped away from it. Yet, I went for it, risked it, allowed my heart to be touched deeply. All in all, I'm just glad that life is a mystery. I wouldn't have been able to keep going if I had know then what I know now. If I had known about the future hurts and hopes unmet and wounds left raw and gaping. But, thankfully, we meet each grief as it comes and deal with that one grief. And somehow, the tears fall away and time passes and the wounds heal, at least in part. I couldn't deal with all my life's grief at once, but God has promised that he won't give me more than I can bear. So, I cling to his promises and know, that for right now, I'm moving through life, one grief at a time. Now, I'm sure that just sounds awful to read. All this 'one grief at a time' stuff. Yet, it works exactly the same way with joy. If I had all the joy of my life hit me all at once, I would just explode into bits of shooting stars. Again, we are granted the beauty of God's wisdom and grace. For in this time, I am experiencing not only grief, but also the joy of knowing that I am capable of such love and trust. The joy of knowing that God is control. The joy of knowing that although a relationship is over, my God still knows my intimately and loves me in a way that I cannot fathom. And this makes the grief bearable. At least a little more bearable.
And in his perfect timing, God brought this little girl into my life. You see, Brigid just needs some attention. Her mother is a single mom, working full-time and raising two kids. I don't know how she does it. So, Brigid has me as a big sister and her brother also has a big brother. My job is simply to hang out with Brigid. Go to movies, go on walks, play games, talk, listen. Tonight she clung to me during the movie. She held my hand, wrapped me up in a hug, put her head on my shoulder. As I mentioned, she needs attention. All day I had been very focused on my own personal and difficulties. And this reminded me that I am never alone in suffering. Everyone needs help. Everyone needs love.
Tonight in the movie, the character playing God said something along these lines,
"If you pray for patience, do you think God will grant you patience or give you the opportunity to practice patience? If you pray for courage, do you think God will grant you courage or give you the opportunity to be courageous? If you pray for your family to grow closer, perhaps God will grant you opportunities to love each other and stand by each other."
So, perhaps as I've been praying for my heart to heal, God has granted me the opportunity to love a little girl and help heal her heart a little bit.